Archive for June, 2012

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

I’m sitting in the basement with silicon ear plugs shoved deep into my ears. I’m two floors below where Josie is either screaming or napping. I never knew this kind of logistics would be part of parenting.

We started sleep training a few weeks ago and failed — mostly because of my weakness, though we like to blame the teething. The first night we witnessed the longest screaming; I went outside and did stuff on my phone for as long as I could pace in front of our house without scaring the neighbors. The second night was shorter. The third, shorter than that. Then came a tooth. A very cute, very sharp tooth right in the middle of her bottom gum. Oh, and I was alone with her for bedtime. Let’s just say progress was lost and leave it at that.

Since then, she’s been back in our bed and no one (well, except her, maybe) has gotten any sleep again. We considered moving the big-pain-in-the-butt-to-take-apart-and-reconfigure crib into our bedroom so she could be right up against our bed (with the rail down — kind of like the co-sleeper she used to sleep in but got too long for). I’m so glad we didn’t do it because it wouldn’t have worked. She was screaming in the bed with us, with me and my boob right there, anyway. In my desperate tiredness I acknowledged that we needed to start the sleep training again last night and do it all the way. No giving in, even for naps.

When I witness the screaming, I get a vivid picture of her screaming face burnt on the backs of my eyelids and the piercing sound trapped behind the earplugs. It’s a great way to try and fall asleep. Even here, some 20 feet below, I can still hear when she wakes up and cries. I have to be bigger than my anxiety and tell myself it’s the best thing for everyone. Don’t think about the huge tears. Don’t think about the red face and choking. Think about how happy the family will be, eventually, when we’re all rested.

In the meantime, let’s move on to another installment of FOG (Funny or Gross):
The other day, I brought Josie in to where K was resting. K woke up and took Josie in a “flying baby” position above her. Josie loves being “baby in the sky”; it’s when she gives her biggest open mouth smile. K made the mistake of taking pleasure in the moment and smiling wide as well. Just then, a glob of teething saliva, visible with Google Earth, followed gravity’s pull right into K’s mouth.

(Disclaimer: No men were harmed in the making of this blog.)

The Family

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