She Like To Move It

This little girl inside me. She is very busy.

Several weeks ago I was worried that I hadn’t felt her move (or hadn’t realized that what I was feeling was her). Now, I have to admit — not proudly — that I kinda get it; it’s neat and I could use a breather. Especially at night when I should be getting the sleep I’ll never get again.

The funniest was watching her movements during our most recent ultrasound. Just like last time, she was showing off her flexibility with her feet up by her head. Only, now she was on camera, kicking herself in the head. Each time she did it, she’d jump, and then she’d do it again. I looked at K and said, “Wow. We have a very special baby.”

not us

The prickish doctor who evaluated the ultrasound said the placenta is still somewhat low lying. When K tried to ask about how much it has moved up since 6 weeks ago, he replied, “The placenta doesn’t have feet.” Nice. She tried to restate her question, but the jerk was trying to get out the door from the second he came in. So… we don’t think we need another ultrasound 6 weeks from now. There’s nothing to do about it anyway. One ultrasound near the end will tell us whether the coast is clear.

Yesterday we went on our hospital tour. When we walked into the conference room where the group was meeting, we saw the only other couple there was another queer couple. At first I was thrilled and thought, Portland rocks. Then I got paranoid that they were putting us in a separate tour from the straights. In the end a second couple, hetero, showed up. The pack of us went up to the maternity floor and the first thing we were hit with was a strong scent of urine. It said, “Welcome. Breathe deep and have a great birth!” The birthing suites were nice, though, and I could almost imagine transforming it into a warm, safe space with the right people, music, lighting, etc. Since I still have hospital trauma from K’s lengthy stay 3 years ago, I try to remind myself that this experience should feature only K, the midwife, the nurse, our doula and me. A group of friendly ladies all wanting the birth to go smoothly. Not one of us will be checking her watch about a golf game. We’re glad that the hospital offers birthing tubs; I like the idea of water supporting my weight at that point instead of me. The postpartum rooms are closets with a bed, which makes me wonder where K will sleep. I don’t think I’ll have any problem checking out as soon as possible.

That brings us to this week and the Jewish new year, so if any of you readers identify… shana tova! May you enjoy your annual dose of highly concentrated holiday time.


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