Pregnancy Is Real

I’m 9 weeks pregnant. My fetus is 2 centimeters long. Other than these facts, I have no proof that what I am going through is for anything real.

Real is nausea so bad that a vomit phobic wishes she could vomit. Real is when one burp begets another burp with a 2-second intermission of fiery acid. Real are hot flashes that could set a bedroom ablaze.

I began this week with an unexpected visit to the doctor. I had a day of much fluid loss (we’ll leave it at that), and there was concern of dehydration.  I was so ill, and she was squeezing me into a full schedule. After almost an hour of waiting (with  my pants down), I told myself that if she wasn’t in in the next 5 minutes (and if I was still alive) that we would go home unseen. I was that miserable. So I counted 300 seconds. Literally. Then I put on my pants and told K we needed to go. We were, of course, intercepted by reception who called the doctor over. She insisted she get a look in me, saying (with her very pregnant belly between us) that she knows exactly how I feel and that it sucks. I tearily (new word) told her I just wanted to go home, like I was a POW or something. But I was coaxed back in, and she did the fastest ultrasound in the world to confirm the fetus was fine. Nice fast heartbeat and good size. As for my condition, well, she prescribed an anti-nausea med that is supposedly safe for pregnancy and gave us a recipe for a rehydration beverage that K made for me later but that I knew there was no way in hell, not for me and not for this baby, that I was going to consume. Three days later, I can say that I’m feeling slightly better, but not enough.  I still hate all food — can’t think about putting any of it but rice in me. I can’t get regular. I have an unsustainable amount of nausea and heartburn. And I swear, I have tried everything that’s out there.

Now, do not let it be said that I am complaining. I know I worked to get pregnant for a long time. I know I bitched and moaned about it not ever happening. I know I am lucky and got what I wanted. I am very happy. The happiness is just hard to access from this place of physical distress and misery. But NOT complaining.

Tomorrow, we get to celebrate (which I’m sure involves eating, so I’m freaking out already) the great news with E2! He’s back from Europe and in town for a moment before heading off on his U.S. tour. I had no idea this was going to happen, so K and I are super happy to get to see him and smile big and goofy. I wonder if being around him might settle the stomach. If so, he’s moving in.


2 Responses to “Pregnancy Is Real”

  1. 1 Mommy May 27, 2011 at 7:41 pm

    I’m thrilled to see that you still have that great sense of humor while you are feeling so miserable. I can’t wait to hear how your “3 is company” reunion goes.

    • 2 mamawannabe May 27, 2011 at 11:14 pm

      Well, we’re expecting him in less than an hour, and I’ve been sick in bed for much of the afternoon, so if that tells ya anything…

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