Up the Wazoo

I hate when it’s been so long since I’ve blogged. There’s too much to report and accidentally forget. But I’ll give it my best. I hope you have a comfortable seat.

The Clomid. I have nothing nice to say about it. The first night I took it, K and I watched the movie Mother and Child with Annette Bening and Naomi Watts. Spoiler alert: when the Watts character dies after childbirth, I lost it completely. I was crying like it was my party. The next day was no better. I felt stoned in a bad way, and then we and some friends watched the movie Inception. During this time, I was reading every minute-to-minute report on the AZ shooting (being from Tucson myself) and thinking that the world is totally effed and no place I want to bring a child. The next few days were not as bad; just one more crying episode on the last night I took a dose. I talked a lot about not doing it ever again and looking into adoption pronto.

It didn’t take long after completing the cycle for the effects to wear off. My mom came to town and I got back on the fertility treatment track. Last Friday we had a look inside and saw two big, beautiful follicles. It was only day 10. K administered a trigger shot on Saturday night (to hasten the ovulation) and we did an IUI at the clinic on Sunday morning. I wanted to be happy about the follicles, but I know that with my decreased ovarian reserve there’s a good chance the eggs from those follicles are duds.

The IUI went well; just the usual sharp pain from the catheter. I shouldn’t complain at all. Our donor had to get up super early to go masturbate before going to work on a Sunday, all while feeling really sick. I cannot even imagine being asked to do something like that. Not even for money. I know guys are different creatures, but c’mon!

He gave us a nice sample that was washed and spun down to just the 24 million sperm. I was given a prescription for progesterone suppositories (for better absorption), and we were on our way.

I had the usual post IUI cramping. But during the days after I started the progesterone, I got some really intense cramping. I have had a coughing cold since Dec. 23 that has definitely affected my stomach muscles, but this pain went groinal (my new word). So, I am now taking the progesterone orally and hoping the cramping subsides quickly. I can’t shake the cough, which is getting so tired. I’ve been to two doctors and acupuncturists, and I’ve taken everything and tried everything to get better. I can’t imagine a less hospitable place for a burgeoning life than my lower abdomen when I have one of my coughing fits.

To top it all off, I got my poor mom sick. Listening to her cough made me so sad. Then I stuck her on a train. Will I have an ungrateful daughter, Karma?

So, this is where things are at. I cough and I ache and I wait. Hopefully we’ll know something by next weekend. I hated the Clomid and can’t imagine one more IUI cycle with it. But the injections I’ll have to take for an IVF won’t necessarily be more pleasant. Messing with hormone levels is not for the faint of mood. Inserting them where the sun don’t shine (Portland?) is not for the faint of vagina.

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4 Responses to “Up the Wazoo”


  1. 1 Julie January 22, 2011 at 1:43 am

    Malka, you are so funny. I love that you are able to talk about these super hard, very uncertain, and frustratingly bizarre things and be so funny about it. I’ve loved reading these posts. I’ll be thinking about you this week and hoping that a bumpy bumpy ride was all the little peanut-to-be-needed.

  2. 2 Kristy January 23, 2011 at 12:30 am

    “Faint of vagina” is conspicuously missing from this post’s tags.

  3. 3 Kim January 24, 2011 at 3:16 am

    Totally know what you are going through. Traci was on clomid for a good 8 months, and after her not taking them anymore she became the woman that I loved again. It’s am emotional rollercoaster. You might want to look into femara… it’s not approved by the fed. govt. to be used for fertility, it’s actually for post menopausal breast cancer survivors. Many reproductive doctors are using it. There was one really bad study that came out of Canada, but there are many many other studies out there that were in favor of using it.

    Our doctors felt comfortable using it. It does up the percentage of multiples, especially triplets. The plus is that traci didn’t react to it like clomid.

    Towards the end of us using the REI dept (Oct.) Traci was on a coctail of femara and a gonadotropin that is injected a few times before you give yourself the HCG shot… and then afterwards with the progesterone suppositories. you should google clomid vs. femara if you haven’t heard of it before.

    For us in our journey, we are working backwards with fresh sperm. The whole journey is overwhelming. I do think we have found our donor, and hopefully right before Valentines day, we will meet up for the goods :).

    I wish you guys luck, and if you have any questions feel free to contact me. Or even vent. I was just at a child’s bday party and it was so hard to not be resentful to see how easy it is for most. that we have worked so hard, spent too much $$$ (we’ve dropped over 15 grand so far, plus missing work 3-5 times a month). sheesh.

    We tried a whole year with our REI dept. In the end (though we might be back) they became good friends. I finally called and told the lead nurse that we would be using other Avenues and she advised against it. I asked if we could use a known donor through the clinic and she told us no. Than I said to her, isn’t live sperm way more potent than the frozen (duh). She paused and said that I put her in an awkward position. I said I had my answer. She wished us luck. You know, there was nothing wrong with any part of Traci’s reproductive parts. It is the sperm . So wish us luck w/our donor 🙂 hes great.

    Goodnight!!!

    • 4 mamawannabe January 24, 2011 at 4:21 am

      I have heard of femar, and my doc is fine with me using it instead… she said I may or may not react better to it than the clomid; but I have to consider the multiples thing before I decide. How did you and Traci decide to start with REI? was it an issue of availability? knowing what I know now about my fertility issues, I kinda wish we had gone straight to the clinic. what eggs I have left would have been a couple years younger.
      It’s so strange that some places won’t let you use known-donor sperm, even if he’s thoroughly tested and everyone is willing to sign something. It’s humiliating to have to lie and say they’re our “boyfriend”s.
      With Traci’s parts in good working order, I bet you won’t even need luck! But I send it to you anyway!
      Thanks for the comments, Kim! Keep me posted.


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