Raging Realist Seeks Backup From Beyond

From previous posts, you know that I am grieving my father and that this getting pregnant deal is bittersweet. I can’t wait to have/raise a child (sweet), but it tears me up that the kid won’t know its Saba/Grandpa (bitter). I know the grief will dissipate with time (it’s only been 7 months since he passed), but trying to conceive keeps it kind of fresh. I’m sure the mood swings of pregnancy and postpartum will salt away the wound as well (to mix my salt metaphors).

So here’s my thought: I’m not generally superstitious or into the occult or anything, but what if my dad has more luck helping me with this pregnancy thing from the other side? I noticed today that I got my period this cycle on June 16. Nine months to the day is my dad’s birthday. So I know that a “due date” is actually 40 weeks, not 9 months, from the first day of the last period. But maybe the shadow of coincidence could mean something in some dimension?

Many people believe that their loved ones become part-time guardian angel when they depart. Being my dad’s daughter (he was a psychologist), however, I know that the human brain will come up with all kinds of fantastical things to cope. So, now I’m left to wonder, can the magic still work if I don’t believe?

The truth, no matter what I or anyone believes, is that one of those millions of sperm has either gotten through my egg’s tough exterior or the lot of them have given up and exited the premises. Here’s to another fortnight of mystery!

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(Disclaimer: No men were harmed in the making of this blog.)

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