Throw Away the Key

This is my confession; I transgressed, and in a law office, to boot!

We went uuuuurly this morning with E2 to finally FINALLY sign our donor agreement. Like a trio of old pals, we joked about this and that as we made our way downtown to the fancy office with the fancier views. On the table, where we sat waiting for the notary, were three super fine Pilot pens. The pens probably came in a box of 12 for a dollar, but nonetheless I coveted. I told K and E2 that I would have one. When the notary came in with her own super fine Pilot pen, I knew I had it made because, when we left, there were still three pens sitting there on the table—just like when we arrived.

My one-way ticket to the clink

I could say that the kleptomania was inspired by a desire to have a memento of the occasion; you know, for the kid. But I know it’s not true. I just wanted it. So I tucked it into my overly long sleeve and tried to keep the coup to myself till we got to the elevator. I love our lawyer, and I don’t wish financial ruin upon her firm. Yet, I stole the pen.

After dropping E2 home, I noticed that we hadn’t mentioned the fact that we inseminated frozen sperm recently and that, if I turn out to be pregnant, the whole arrangement with him would be off. Raise your hand if you have no problem stealing a pen but avoid confrontation like it’s lice or Lindsay Lohan movies.

As far as all that getting pregnant stuff goes (as if pregnancy, and not petty theft admission, is why I blog), I don’t have any sense of a fertilized egg in my uterus. Nor do I sense a non-fertilized one. I have occasional cramps, but this could be explained by the slew of muscles around them parts that I fail to exercise or stretch.

My theory? I’ll be pregnant this time just because I don’t want to have to tell E2, after the absurdity of these past months, that he won’t have progeny through us after all.

I’ll keep you posted.

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2 Responses to “Throw Away the Key”


  1. 1 Kristy April 23, 2010 at 2:07 am

    If we go back there, what I really want is that fancy water pitcher.

  2. 2 Leah G April 25, 2010 at 7:44 am

    I totally get you on the pen thing…ya just feel like words could flow and flow from a good pen (never mind that I haven’t written anything substantial with a pen since my senior year in high school). Anyways, love to you and K….i’m sending good thougts your way.


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