I’m So Ironic!

There’s only one thing cuter than when a kid makes up a word, and that is when a kid uses a word completely incorrectly. I heard tell of my nephew playing wiffle ball and, after smacking it over the roof, doing a bit of a rooster strut, pointer finger in the air, saying: “I rock! I’m so ironic!” to the extreme amusement of my sister, brother-in-law and niece, who goaded him into saying it over and over.

Real irony, among other things, is an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected. For example, K and I have worked (and spent) our butts off getting a local known donor ready for the past two months, so as to avoid having to use the entirely too expensive and poorer performing frozen sperm. And for the past two months, I have had zero access to sperm with which to inseminate and hopefully get pregnant. This month, I seem to have semen coming out the proverbial ying-yang!

The tanks arrive Wednesday; meanwhile, E2 is all set to go with us to our lawyer to sign the contract. I will ovulate at the end of the week.

Obsessive thoughts all weekend were as follows:

1. We should pay the cancellation fee for the frozen and save the money (too late now!)
2. But then, if for some reason we can’t get a hold of E2 to sign the contract or to come over for the inseminations, we get zero tries again this month.
3. We should inseminate with both the frozen and the fresh to increase our chances.
4. This will result in a horrible ’80s sitcom starring Paul Reiser.

While the goal is to get pregnant, it is not “at any cost.” We chose to go with a known donor (and, ironically, an identity-release unknown donor) because we want the kid to be able to look the guy up in 18 years. We realized that too many cooks in the kitchen would mean not knowing whose sperm “made it” should there be a pregnancy, and so we decided to keep the very important sub-goal in mind. We’ll sign the contract with E2, but just inseminate with the frozen this month.


2 Responses to “I’m So Ironic!”

  1. 1 Jon April 13, 2010 at 6:09 pm

    Speaking of kiddie faux pas — is the singular the same as the plural? — Eliza told Maggie that I’m going to take her to see How to Train Your Dragon at the “fellator.” We’re going to have to take a closer look at her preschool.

  2. 2 Steph April 14, 2010 at 9:15 pm

    At least the decision is made! Breathe now.

    I’ll tell you what’s not ironic, but is instead, exactly what we should all learn to expect: in the world of trying to get pregnant and then everything that follows, every plan that we agonize and deliberate over is simply made so that we can throw it out the window and allow the real plan to present itself:)

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