Not Even Bronze Medalists

Well, crap. The report: No Olympian swimmers.

I’m feeling disappointed, dismayed, and generally dissed by mama universe.

E2’s count and motility were off-the-chart low.

How did we find a healthy 25-year-old male with few, tired sperm? Is it a talent we can bottle and sell?

Sorry, I’m definitely in a pity party this morning. Cramps and two weeks away from another no-go ovulation. Crap.

K and I talked about it, and we think we’re going to go the maxing-out-of-the-credit-card route (did I mention that our fridge is making broken-fridge sounds?). Frozen sperm, here we come! We’ll do it until we’re pregnant or we find a  known donor with sperm that swim (through that particular website again, I assume).

I need another word for crap. Any suggestions?

4 Responses to “Not Even Bronze Medalists”

  1. 1 Amy Lynne Watson, DC March 11, 2010 at 8:33 pm

    quadruple crap. 😦
    sending love!

  2. 2 John March 12, 2010 at 6:21 am

    In this context, I’d say “Nuts!” would be a suitable alternative to crap.

    I gotta know: where in the world do you find the perfect illustrations for this blog?? Delightful.

    As are you and “Special K.”

    • 3 malkageffen March 12, 2010 at 6:27 am

      It’s all about Google images (and thinking of funny word combos to search).
      Thanks for the sweet words, John!

  3. 4 Steph March 14, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    Not to go for a “there could be a bright side just on the other side of all this crap” slant—but what if the sperm bank route works?? Saves you a ton of extra hassle around testing and contracts, not to mention any future (unexpected) emotional baggage of a known donor. So…not necessarily all bad:)

    As always, love you!

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